Chapter 5 - Stop Judging & Comparing
A BOOK IN A BLOG PROJECT
Chapter 5 - Stop Judging & Comparing
Before you leave this world, what is the legacy you want to leave behind?
What would your last words be?
If you can think of definitive answers for both questions right now, worry not. You truly do not find that answer until you are facing death. For most of us, we will leave this world suddenly, without any grand farewells or final declarations anyway.
It is fine. Accept it as it is.
What matters most is the now—the present moment that you are fully in.
It is commendable that you are reading this book. Your soul is seeking answers, perhaps. But before you get lost in the currents of seeking profound answers about life’s ups and downs, pause. Be aware and mindful of your own immediate thoughts and actions.
Focus on the now.
Do something useful instead of talking about other people’s business. The most immediate and necessary action is to stop judging and comparing a person, particularly based on their physical looks or possessions.
The Cost of Comparison
Ask yourself honestly: Is dwelling on someone else's car, clothes, or watch more important than giving care, love, and support to someone close to you?
Is judging, comparing, and gossiping more valuable than helping the underprivileged?
I have encountered many people—ignorant, naive, and delusional, perhaps—whose greatest joy is discussing others: what clothes they wear, what car they drive, what watch brand is on their wrist, the size of their house.
Why? What is the big deal?
Mind you, many of these individuals have not achieved much on their own merit. Most are simply lucky to have been born into wealthy families.
Consider one guy who, for most of his life, never had to worry about a single bill: no house installments, no electricity or water bills, no car payments, no food costs—basically, nothing he earned himself.
Obviously, such a cushioned existence has prevented him from reaching a truly mindful state or discovering the blessings of awareness. I only pray that he accepts impermanence and is able to detach when life inevitably throws him some curve balls. Can he be comfortable with discomfort? Only he can answer that question.
Here is a second example of a materialistic and lost soul: an acquaintance who was utterly obsessed with knowing what watches other people wore. He would literally grab you by the wrist and lift your arm up to see the brand.
I wanted to say to him: “My dear friend, when you die, do you need a watch to tell time wherever you are headed?!”
When it comes to cars, nothing beats the programmed human desire to own a reliable and luxurious set of four wheels.
An acquaintance in his early 30s once asked me, “Why don’t you change your small car to a Mercedes-Benz C-Class model?”
My honest response was simple: “Please give me the money to pay for the car, and I will do so.”
He never bothered talking about cars in my presence again.
I could provide many more examples of this ugly human tendency. But, I have to stop here because I, too, must practice what I preach!
10 Tips to Avoid Judging and Comparing
To refrain from being sucked into the negative energy of judging and comparing another human being, here are some actionable tips:
1. Think before you speak: Ask yourself, "Why do I need to talk about another person’s life when it is not my business?"
2. Practice stillness: Meditate, chant, or pray more often to center your mind.
3. Choose your company wisely: Do not mix with those who habitually gossip or denigrate others.
4. Acknowledge impermanence: Remind yourself that life isn’t about competing for the biggest house, the most expensive car, branded bags, or expensive jewelry. None of which you can bring with you when you die!
5. Cultivate generosity: If you are lucky to earn a lot of money, do charity for the underprivileged.
6. Be loving and kind in all your interactions.
7. Affirm your worth daily: Remind yourself: “I am enough,” “I am nobody,” “I am free!”
8. Practice physical gratitude: Be grateful that you are able-bodied and mentally and physically fit, healthy, and strong.
9. Practice material gratitude: Be grateful for the blessings of fresh air, water, food, electricity, a roof over your head, and a warm bed to sleep in every night.
10. Radical self-acceptance: Never worry what others think of you. Their opinions are a reflection of them, not a definition of you.
designed as a basic guide. Individuals who suffer from mental health issues, or are overly stressed from work and life's challenges are advised to seek professional medical help.
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