Chapter 4 - Realization Of The Self

A BOOK IN A BLOG PROJECT

CHAPTER 4 - REALIZATION OF THE SELF

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom." – Lao Tzu

"Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate." – Carl Jung

You are reading this for a reason. 

What is it that compels you to seek realization? Perhaps you are weary of the mental noise, or maybe you simply seek a clearer understanding of your own actions and inactions. 

Whatever the reason, I am truly grateful you’re here.

As a human being, it’s natural to question: Am I doing the right things? Am I saying the right things? 

The sheer volume of fake news, stress, and societal pressure in this modern age makes it incredibly difficult to determine what is fundamentally right or wrong.

Yet, the human spirit is strong. I believe each of us are born with the gifts of consciousness and awareness. We must harness these gifts to navigate the world.

The Imperfect Path: Forgive and Focus

Let’s be clear: no one is perfect. We are born to make mistakes. 

We are born to sometimes say or do things we regret, fueled by fear, sadness, despair, or frustration.

This is part of the human journey.

The first step toward realization is self-forgiveness.

Pause and let the negative thoughts go! Stop being so hard on yourself, for a start.

Take a deep breath and smile.

We must also learn to forgive those who have wronged us. Why?

Not for them, but for us. We forgive their ignorance in speech and action so that we are not perpetually tethered to their negativity. Forgiveness is a release for the forgiver.

So, what is the solution to living a less burdened life?

Focus on the one thing you can truly control: YOU.

Discovering Your Authentic Self

Before you can change your life, you need to know who you are as a person. 

What are your core traits? Are you the generous type? The honest type? The patient leader?

If you find it hard to determine your character, you may be spending too much energy on things that drain you instead of things that define you. Self-realization begins by creating space in your life.

To help you reclaim that energy, let’s identify the things you must learn to let go of.

7 Things You Are Not Responsible For:

1. Other people’s happiness. Let them be unhappy; their joy is not your project.
2. Making people understand your choices. Let them be confused; your life is not a thesis for them to approve.
3. Managing someone else’s emotions. Let them feel how they feel; you are not their emotional regulator.
4. Proving your worth to people who don’t see it. Let them underestimate you; your worth is intrinsic.
5. Meeting everyone’s expectations. Let them be disappointed; your peace is more valuable than their approval.
6. Rescuing people from their problems. Let them learn from life; growth often comes from struggle.
7. Managing everyone and everything around you. Let them be; you are a person, not a puppet master.

Stop wasting your time and energy on things you can’t control. This mental and emotional clutter is the biggest block to true realization.

The Realization Exercise: A Focus on Connection

Once you begin to focus your energy inward, you can clearly see the meaningful connections that have shaped your life. Your legacy will not be defined by fleeting achievements, but by the personal connections that molded you.

Take a moment for this reflection exercise: List a few teachers who aided your journey through school or work.

1. Name three friends or family members who have helped you through a difficult time.
2. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile - a skill, a value, a perspective.
3. Think of a few people who have made you feel truly appreciated and special.
4. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with - people who lift your spirit.

The great lesson from this exercise is the realization of who truly matters in your life. It’s not the ones with the most credentials, the richest, or the one with the most awards.

It is the people who have inspired, touched, and cared for you most deeply.

By doing this, you will realize what or who you have cared about most in your life.

Your focus should be on lasting relationships, mentors, and loving kindness. These are the anchors of a truly meaningful existence.

Stop chasing external validation and focus on shaping yourself through the moments and people that hold real meaning.

Note: This chapter was developed and edited with the assistance of Artificial Intelligence (AI). The contents of this chapter were designed as a basic guide. Individuals who suffer from mental health issues, or are overly stressed from work and life's challenges are advised to seek professional medical help.

Patrick Ho is passing on what he learned from his past for the benefit of future generations. His journey of Spirituality is a daily learning experience of Awareness, Mindfulness, Compassion, Loving Kindness and Meditation.