Chapter 7 - Inconsiderate People: Why Do They Think They Are More Special Than Others?
A BOOK IN A BLOG PROJECT
Chapter 7 - Inconsiderate People: Why Do They Think They Are More Special Than Others?
BY PATRICK HO
“Don't do unto others what you don't want done unto you.” - Confucius
Are modern pressures, constant digital distraction, or perhaps a sense of entitlement eroding the basic character and personality of humans?
I ask this because almost daily I inadvertently witness instances of human inconsideration. Sometimes, people seem like "blur zombies," operating without simple logic or awareness of others.
This chapter explores the root of this behavior and offers practical ways we can all cultivate more consideration.
The Cost of Entitlement
This entire chapter was inspired by a simple dinner with a lawyer friend at a bistro in Malaysia. We were seated outside, next to a busy road where double-parking is unfortunately common.
In Malaysia, those who double-park are "encouraged" to leave their mobile number. However, this unwritten rule is a poor substitute for common sense. You should always park further away and walk rather than inconvenience others.
Right in front of us, a Malay lady needed to leave. The young male driver of a Mercedes-Benz, whom I had seen double-parked behind her, was nowhere to be found. She waited patiently for a good 15 minutes. It was after office hours, and I'm sure she was eager to get home to her family.
The restaurant manager went out to ask if she had called the driver, whom I suspect was in his mid-20s. He had left a number on the dashboard, but she had called him twice with no answer.
When the driver finally showed up, we witnessed the height of inconsiderate and rude behavior. He did not apologize to the lady or even make eye contact with her! What followed was even more shocking: he took the longest time to remove his car. The lady finally snapped. She got out and started shouting, waving a fist at the young man to move his vehicle. Who could blame her?
Still, there was no apologetic gesture from the young driver of the expensive German car.
Why do you think he acted that way? Was it because his family wealth and expensive car created a feeling of superiority? Was it his upbringing, or simply a lack of manners and basic empathy?
I, too, have suffered a similar experience. My car was once blocked in for nearly half an hour at my workplace in Kuchai Lama in the early 2000s.
There was no contact number, and I was desperately late for an appointment.
When the woman finally appeared, her apology was difficult to accept. She said nonchalantly, "I was stuck in a meeting." Already frustrated, I snapped back, "So, you are the only person on this planet who has meetings?! Did you know you delayed my meeting attendance for half an hour?"
For many years, I've observed countless inconsiderate acts. I kept asking: why do people commit such avoidable acts? I even reflected on my own past. If I have ever unintentionally hurt someone through my inconsideration, I sincerely apologize.
The Simple Rules of Public Courtesy
Inconsiderate behavior is not limited to driving; it’s often present in simple daily interactions.
Elevator Etiquette
Attending a meeting at Menara Citibank one day, a small incident gave my blood pressure a little kick.
Here’s what I wrote on Facebook about the experience:
"FAIL: The lift door opens, and an elderly man needs to step out. A young male in his 20s stands blocking the way. He does not move aside for the elderly man. A few seconds pass... I step past the elderly man, move right up to the young man, and stare eye-to-eye with him. He looked at me as if he did nothing wrong. Eventually, he moved aside. I let the elderly man out. Victory for manners?"
I am not advocating for vigilantism, but I am all for creating awareness. The basic rule of courtesy - letting people out first - must be observed everywhere:
On trains and buses. In elevators. At doors to restaurants and buildings.
Especially when dealing with the elderly, the handicapped, or those with children, take a moment to pause and let them exit safely before you rush in.
How to Cultivate Consideration and Empathy
Inconsiderate behavior is often just an absence of awareness. Here are ten powerful steps to help you - and others - become more considerate, empathetic, and mindful.
1. Put Your Phone Away - Be aware of your surroundings, your speed, and your impact on the flow of traffic (both vehicular and pedestrian). Your attention is a gift you give to your safety and others' convenience.
2. Respect Everyone - Whether family, friend, or stranger, make a conscious effort to be considerate. Your actions, words, and body language communicate your respect.
3. Practice Humility - Recognize that you are not more special or entitled than anyone else. Your schedule, wealth, or status does not justify inconveniencing others.
4. Be Mindful - Before you act (e.g., stopping your trolley, leaving your car, or rushing a door), pause and ask: "Will this inconvenience someone else?"
5. Do Not Judge or Compare - Focus on your own behavior, not that of others. Your standard for courtesy should be consistently high, regardless of what others are doing.
6. Pause and Think Before You Speak - Will your words lift someone up or tear them down? Even in frustration, choose a measured and respectful response.
7. Commit a Daily Good Deed - Empathy is a muscle. Consciously stepping aside, holding a door, or offering help reinforces the habit of looking out for others.
8. Listen and Acknowledge - Truly hear what others are saying and acknowledge their presence. It validates their experience.
9. Be Patient - In a world that demands speed, choosing patience is an act of consideration. Don't let your own hurry become someone else's problem.
10. Express Gratitude - Say "Please" and "Thank You." These simple phrases instantly transform an ordinary interaction into a polite and respectful one.
By practicing these steps, we can consciously choose to be the person who makes the world a little easier, rather than the person who makes it harder.
were designed as a basic guide. Individuals who suffer from mental health issues, or are overly stressed from work and life's challenges are advised to seek professional medical help.
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